I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i think i just lost a toe
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize