i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
