I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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