Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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