ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
