like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
