you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
