i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
