I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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