The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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