she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
