At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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