Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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