I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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