if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize