i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
