He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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