How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
