he puts the penis in happiness.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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