hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
