so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize