If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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