god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize