Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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