If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
