My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I need a beard to bite.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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