When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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