Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
