I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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