yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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