I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
