butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
