My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
