does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
