So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
