toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
