Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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