I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
