I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
