That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
