i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
