hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
