I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Randomize
