I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
