yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Barsexuality is the new black.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
