On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
