I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize