Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
