nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
