Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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