ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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