He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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