I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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