remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
